Rules to remember in the real world
by Cookie Smile Axel
Summary: The akatsuki are trapped in the real world and now must learn the rules to this world
1. Chapter 1

**Rules to remember in the real world**

**Chapter 1: the wakeup call **

Louis POV

I cuddled into the pillow wishing it was a bag of money and felt something chomp on my foot than I kicked whatever it was multiple times but it would budge. I opened my eyes and at the end of my bed was a man trying to eat my foot. I screamed at him and he looked at me and stopped trying to eat me "sorry I thought you were dead" he told me "after I kicked you in the face multiple times" I cried out "I thought, it was just a twitch" he answered calmly. I gave him a blank look "are you after my money?" I asked freaking out again "no…" he trailed off looking at me funny "who are you and why are you in my room trying to eat me!" I said panicking "I'm Zetsu of the Akatsuki and I'm not completely sure how I got here" he explained.

He stood up and he had green hair, his skin was pale and his eyes were gold "so how did you get in my room?" I asked "I woke up here!" he told me turning into the mirror and screaming his head off "what has happened to me!" he yelled "I swear I didn't dye your hair green!" I said putting my hands up. Then I remember that Carly and Ren were sleeping. I got up "I got an idea" I said evilly "get out of my room while I change" I ordered so he did.

Carly POV

My eyes opened wide and I jumped out of bed than I ran into the bathroom. As I ran a guy just finished with the toilet; he had black long hair and yellow eyes than he walked past "it's all yours" he said "thanks" I said not even worry about the strange man that had just finished using my toilet. After I finished using the toilet than I washed my hands and I walked back to the couch. As I got back the guy from before was on my couch "get off my couch!" I yelled and dragged him off "but I was here first" he said than I threw his off of the couch and laid back down. He jumped on top the couch with me on top of it than Louis walked past with a stranger in green hair "were going to Kasey's house" Louis said. "Bye" I said the guy stopped "Orochimaru, what are you doing" he asked "she won't give me the couch" he said "you shouldn't even be in our house!" I yelled at Orochimaru.

I closed my eyes and started kicking my legs "get off of me!" I screamed than I covered my mouth as I realised Ren was a sleep. I suddenly gave up and just laid there "why are you in my house?" I asked "I woke up here" he told me "so now you think you own the place? by trying steal my couch" I asked "no, I woke up on your couch" he told me "with me on it!" I yelled then covered my mouth "well yeah, I'm not going to move just because your laying on here" he told me "you're a pedo" I mumbled "you're not a kid" he said. My eyes widened "you're perverted" I trailed off as I pressed my head on the couch. I pushed him off my couch and he hit the floor "sit on one of those seats" I said "but I like the couch!" he said trying to get on but I growled him away.

Sandy POV

I opened my eyes and suddenly at the end of the bed was a guy with raven black hair and black eyes. He looked at me and I noticed my phone is his hand. I screamed "why are you in my room!" I screamed "I'm trying to figure out where I am and why I woke up in your bed" he said. I jumped up "what do you want? Are you one of those stalkers? Why are you in my room?" I asked. He looked up at me with a blank face "I don't want to die!" I cried than I jumped up and he jumped up to "I don't want to die" I cried running at him and kicked him right in the weak spot. He collapsed and I quickly ran out my room and put a chair under the door handle so he couldn't get out of the room. I sighed in relief then remember he had my phone than suddenly I felt like my world had crumbled down.

I walked to the bathroom because I knew I had nothing more to worry about then suddenly I walked into the room and got a big surprise. In my shower was a man with blue hair and shark like eyes, singing. He turned around and suddenly screamed like a girl than I screamed louder than bolted out of my room "sorry" I yelled than closed the door and put a chair under it like the last one. I curled up in a corner and started rocking back a forward "I'm blind" I cried out "let us out!" they both yelled but I kept curled up in the corner.

Kasey POV

I woke up to the sound of screaming, I opened my eyes to see a silver haired man yelling at a man in the mask "will you shut up, I'm trying to sleep!" I growled. They turned to me and one of them held a kunai up to my neck "WHERE ARE WE!" they yelled "My apartment, now shut up I don't have work until five" I told him "so you live in this town called apartment huh?" he asked "yes, now why are you in my room!" I yelled then suddenly someone knocked on my door. I looked up at them and cuddled into my blanket "can one of you assholes, open my door" I asked then the silver haired man walked into the lounge room. I sighed "so who are you and why are you in my house!" I yelled "I don't know we woke up in your bed" he told me "I'm calling the police" I said. I jumped up and looked to see the guy with the silver hair at the door.

I ran to the door "um…" than I turned to Kakuzu "what is it?" I mumbled "never mind" than I shook my head completely unaware I was in my underwear. I ran to the draw and Louis covered her eyes "EWWWW! KASEY WEAR SOME PJAMAS!" she yelled. Behind her was a strange man with green hair "what is that?" I asked "fucking hell Zetsu's here to!" the silver hair one complained "hidan, is that Kakuzu" he said looking past Hidan's big head to the other guy. Louis turned around "I woke up to him trying to eat me" she mumbled walking into the house "yeah, sure, everyone come make yourself home" I complained than walked back into my room and slammed the door.

Jay POV

I opened my eyes to see a man wearing my bra on his head and he had black spikey hair and suddenly I screamed at the top of my lungs simply because they bra didn't suit him what so ever. He put his fist in the air "SUPER HERO TOBI! Tobi is a good boy" he said then tried to fly "shut up Tobi!" a voice screamed from behind me. Suddenly I felt to arms around me than I turned my head in horror to see a blonde headed girl with her arms around me and also a girl with violet blue hair hugging her "I wasn't that drunk" I mumbled with a scared look on my face. Tobi ran up to me "Tobi is a good boy!" he said hyperactively than I was suddenly pushed out of my bed by the blond chick. The guy helped me up "who are you?" I mumbled getting up and rubbing my back "Tobi" he said "shut up Tobi" the blond chick said again "shut up Blondie" I mumbled than her eyes opened wide. She jumped up "why are you in our hide out!" she yelled "excuse me, last time I check this is my bed room!" I screamed "DEIDARA!" he yelled hugging him.

The last girl opened her eyes "get out of my room!" she yelled "but this is my room" i complained and a second later me Tobi and Deidara were sitting in the hall way. We sat there in the hall way next to each other "she's scary" I said as we all begun to hug our legs "you don't have to live with her" Deidara said. Suddenly someone knocked on the door and I answered it and standing there was Kasey, Louis and some others "KAKUZU, HIDAN AND ZETSU!" Tobi yelled but before he could hug them Kasey tripped him. I rubbed my eyes "worst wakeup call ever" I complained scratching my head "tell me about it" Kasey and Louis said walking in "jinx under roof!" Kasey said then Louis frowned. I turned to the others "wake up the chick in there!" I said pointing to my room and they went to walk to the door "it's Konan" Deidara said still sitting down "pft as if, I'd rather not die" they all laughed turning away from my room. Me, Louis and Kasey walked into the kitchen "so you woke up with people in your room two?" I asked "yeah, the one with green hair was trying to eat my foot and got many kicks in the face" Louis explained. Kasey hit her head on the table "I woke up with a sexy beast in my room but like usual they fuck it up by wake me up!" I yelled making sure Hidan could hear. Louis smiled evilly "let's get them to wake up Ren" she whispered "that's suicide!" I yelled "shh…" Kasey told me "I'm against it!" I said "let's go get the others" Kasey said completely ignoring me.

**What will happen next chapter, who is Ren and what will she do when she wakes up, will she go on a murdering rampage with coat hangers? Will she kill the Akasuki before they have a chance to get back soon? Also will Sandy ever get those dirty images of Kisame in the shower out of her head? Find out next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: RED HEAD RAGE!**

Louis POV

After waking Konan up and learning the names of all these strangers that randomly appeared in our bed rooms. We began to walk to Sandy's place "so you are Kasey, Louis and Jay of the village hidden in the bridge?" Zetsu said "close enough" Jay said tired of repeating to him that we were a village. Suddenly a car went past "what the fuck was that?" Hidan asked nicely which made Jay sigh "it's a magical beast that if you jump in front of it, you will go into a magical place" Kasey said which made me snicker. Another car came and hidan jumped to wards it "here I come!" he yelled as he was hit by the car. Our eyes widened and we looked at each other "woops I didn't think he would take it seriously" I mumbled "YOU KILLED HIM!" Jay said freaking out "he can't die" Kakuzu said "idiot! We were joking, when you get hit by a car your dead" I yelled.

The guy ran out from the car "shit, he jumped right in front of me!" the person yelled and pulled out his phone. Suddenly Hidan go t up "fuck! That hurt!" he growled "I didn't go anywhere you fuck wit!" he yelled "you went five inches that way" I said pointing to the left. The guy ran at Hidan "I am so sorry, you gave me such a scared" the guy said "well fucking hell, last time I listen to that cow!" he said looking in kasey direction "your shoe lase is untied" I told him than he look down "shit!" he yelled realising he doesn't have shoe lases. Suddenly a van shoed up and Carly popped her head out of the car "need a lift?" she asked "how did you know we would be here?" I asked "you weren't at the pervert's house, since when did you add people to the collection?" she asked "hello boys?" a snake like man said popping his head out of the door "shut up, Orochimaru" Carly mumbled than we all jumped into the van.

I sat next to the weirdo in the mask "so… you like… money?" he asked "OH MY GOSH! I love money!" I yelled happily "yeah, she's even got her own stash" Kasey told him "shut up Kasey!" I yelled. Hidan smiled evilly "that's okay, so does Kakuzu!" Hidan laughed "shut up Hidan!" Kakuzu said as we both smacked them in the face. Suddenly Kakuzu fell to the ground "my money! It's at the Akasuki base" he said secretly dying on the inside. Suddenly the van stopped and Kakuzu went flying into the front seat "okay, come in when you're ready" I said and we all left him to regain conscious. We all walked in to see Sandy in a corner "naked, so naked" she said rocking back and forward than I heard banging "let me out!" we heard yelling. I decided to walk up to Sandy "hey, Sandy!" I yelled then she shook her head and looked up "you're a closet pervert stop complaining" Kasey said then I turned to her and glared. Suddenly two guys walked out one with blue hair and the other had black. I turned back to Sandy and she had fainted "what the!" I said then turned to them "she should learn to knock before entering a room" he explained "but it's her house" Jay told him.

Carly ran through the door "guy just warning you, I'd get out the house if I was you!" she warned "why?" I asked "It's going to blow up any second!" she told us. Suddenly I started shaking Sandy to wake her up the guys went to walk off "hey! Lift her up" I ordered but they completely ignored us. We picked her up and we dragged her outside than she woke up. She looked at us "how did I get out of here?" she asked than suddenly her house exploded "WHATTHEHELLHAPPENED! MY HOUSE! MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE!" she screamed. Kasey smiled "we got an idea for revenge" I told her "my house" she cried "those strangers that appeared in our are going to wake up Ren" we said than suddenly Sandy smiled evilly and she got up "lets go!" she yelled beginning to laugh evilly and forgetting about her house. As she walked in she fainted again at the sign of the guy with blue hair. She fell right nesxt to Kakuzu who was still past out.

We all got into the seats except the two passed out on the floor "so what are your names?" Kasey asked looking at the blue hair and the black hair man "I'm Kisame and this is Itachi" the blue haired one said then guy with black stood there glaring at Orochimaru who was sitting at the front turning to face him every five seconds. She turned back to Kisame "so what's your name?" he asked "I'm Kasey, the ranga's name is Louis, the one who is scared of you that's Sandy, then one next to Konan is Jay and the crazy driver is Carly" Kasey explained "I will turn this van around!" Carly threatened "I mean the great driver!" she lied. "so why's Sandy all weird around you?" she asked "she walk on my in the shower" she asked "she walk in on me singing in her shower" he explained and suddenly Kasey's eyes widened "why would she be scared of that!" she asked "I don't know" he said. Jay was forced to sit next to Konan who was wearing jay's dressing gown "why are you wearing my dressing gown?" Jay asked "because I can, you got a problem?" she asked then the guys warned her not to say anything "nope" she said nervously "that's what I thought" she growled.

I was now sitting next to Tobi, who I was trying to ignore as much as possible "Tobi like your hair! Tobi is a good boy!" he said "why did we have to bring Orochimaru?" Itachi asked and we all looked at him shocked "because I'm scared he'll molest my couch while I'm gone" Carly said "that's a stupid reason!" I mumbled "you wouldn't be saying that if you sat on the couch afterwards" she told us "I wonder where the leader is?" Kisame said "wait theirs another one?" Kasey yelled "yep" they told us and we all sighed. Deidara sat next to Zetsu "I want to blow something up again" he complained "wait you blew up Sandy's house yet you want to blow something else up!" I asked "yep!" he said "I like him!" I laughed "Tobi Like Deidara too, Louis and Tobi have so much in common" he said as he went to hug her but she put her fist out and he ran into it.

We were almost back to my house and I swear I couldn't wait for revenge but I knew Ren was going to kill me if she found out it was my plan "hey is Ren up yet?" I asked Carly "not when me and pervert left" she told me then I smiled. We pulled into the drive way "Carly, you stay were with the others me and Kasey will be back" I said and we jumped out of the van. We walked into the house and slowly sneak into Ren's room; we saw Ren still sleeping cuddled up to two guys one was a red head and the other had orange hair and piercings. We sneaked out and gently closed then ran back to the van "we found your other two members!" we said "wait we only have one more to find?" they said "go into her room" we said then we showed them to her room/ we opened the door and they all run in including Kakuzu who had woken up than we looked them in and waited for the fireworks.

Ren's POV

I started to hear screaming and I was having the most beautiful dream, I thought they knew never to wake me up. I opened my eyes "shut the fuck up before I rip you heart out and show it to you!" I screamed. The stopped yelling then suddenly I realised it was a group of complete strangers "you WOKE ME UP YOU MORONS!" a voice yelled behind me. A red head man was lying next to me and in front of me was a man with orange hair "WHO THE HELL WOKE ME UP!" he yelled and all there of or head popped up. I jumped up and grabbed a Coat hanger and started smacking them "DON'T! WAKE! ME! UP!" I screamed. I started having a mini tantrum and all over them coward in the wall after I finished except the two who were sleeping in my bed. I grabbed the one with orange hair and threw him into the others than I walked up to the next one and he looked at me. He had the cutest eyes I almost completely forgot about getting woken up but my bed reminded me. I chucked him off the bed "you get anywhere near me and my bed, just know I'm not afraid to go to jail" I told them. I got back into bed and covered up in blankets than closed my eyes.

Suddenly my phone rang and I answered it still with my eyes closed "hello?" I answered "hey, it's Louis" she said "Louis, you woke me up, you're dead" I growled "wait, could you put those strangers in your room on?" Louis asked "you rang me up so you can talk to them?" I mumbled getting angry "yeah" she said "no" I said and hung up. She kept ringing until I threw my phone at the wall "idiot's press the green button to answer it, the bitch wants to talk to you" I yelled "hello bitch, you want something" one of them asked "you want to speak to Ren, well she doesn't want to talk to you because you're a bitch" one of them said "I should get you guys to answer phone often" I said. I turned around "she wanted to give you a message, your fired" one of them said and my eyes shot opened then I ran to them.

I grabbed my phone off of the one with orange hair "shit! SHIT!" I yelled then I kicked the door than I rang up my boss "hello, I swear that wasn't me a complete stranger ans-" I stopped as I realised she had hung up. I hung my head down "she hung up" I said I looked over to the group of people "why are you in my room?" I asked "these girls led us here saying our leader was here, which he was" the only girl said in an attitude which I didn't quite like "don't use that attitude with me bitch you all just got me fired" I growled "so you so on mission's to? Are you part of the village hidden in the bridges to? What kind of ninja are you?" the Ranga asked "no I have a job and I'm one of the best ninjas ever" I told them lying about the ninja part "let's put that to the test" the Ranga said.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: confessions to being highly dangerous criminals

They all followed me out my room and as I got into the kitchen I noticed they were wearing the same thing "what are you nuns?" I asked joking around. They looked at me strangely "what the fucks a nun?" a guy with grey hair asked "it's a religious person" I told him "so your saying there are other Jashinists here?" he asked "a what?" I asked "n-" they all sighed then I got a twenty minute lecture on what religion he followed. I sighed "I mean people believe in other stuff like god or the big spaghetti monster in the sky, or this thing called evolution" I told him "what kind of shit is that, only Jashin is real" he said. I looked at them all "we need to set out some rules okay because obviously you guys know nothing about this world from how you talk or-" Suddenly someone knocked on the door and I walked to the door followed by the group of strangers, who I woke up in my bedroom with. I opened than a nun came up to my door "what the-" I said "hello , would you like to take a few seconds to hear about god" the old nun asked then suddenly I was pushed out the door by none other than the religious freak "would you take a few second to hear about Jashin" he asked as she went to say something "good, Jashin is my God and he is way better than your god or anyone else god" he said "excuse me I believe you are wrong" she told him.

I sighed getting up than suddenly the religious freak pushed the old lady down the stairs and my eyes widened as he stared hitting her with a shovel. I am highly unsure of where he got the shovel to begin with than as I was side tracked on where abouts he got the shovel from, he stopped hitting her "Phrase Jashin!" he said than I ran to the old nun. I check to see here pulse and unfortunately she lost it "OI! You killed her?" I yelled "I know?" he said "you can't just go around killing people" I told him "but I'm a ninja" he told me "that's maybe how it works in your world, but in mine, you kill someone you are a criminal!" I yelled "we don't get the name S rank criminals for no reason!" the one with orange hair said. I looked at all of them "okay, Rule one: never tell a crazy religious freak he's wrong" I told them then they nodded

I started to growl "help me get her inside!" I ordered "no! I am not touching that heathen" he said than I glared at him "now!" I yelled and he quickly ran up to the body. We got her inside and we went back to the kitchen and I started pacing back and forth "you been here not even a day and you already killed someone" I said. They sat their looking at me "so…" they all trailed off than I stomped towards them "I'm not going to jail!" I yelled "what's jail?" the orange haired one asked "It's where people go when they have been bad!" I growled "I wonder why we aren't in there yet?" a guy with a masked said "because I'm here and if you go to jail so do I and also before I forget another important rule, Rule two: killing people in the real world is bad" I told them.

I got up and walked into the bathroom to see a guy with blue hair in my shower and singing "WHY ARE YOU IN MY SHOWER!" I screamed then he turned around. I closed my eyes "EWW!" I yelled than I made a run for it than slammed the door. They all looked at me "why is there a guy in my shoulder" I asked shivering. The one with orange hair opened the door and looked in than scream and quickly closed the door. He sat in a corner than started rocking back and forth "are you okay?" I asked "scary" he said "it can't be that bad" Kakuzu laughed than walked in. all of a sudden we heard a loud bang and everyone ran in except me and the orange haired guy than they all screamed and ran out. They all sat next to the corner rocking back and forth "and time for the next rule, Rule three: always knock before going in the bathroom" I told them. The guy with the blue hair walked out wearing my towel "out of all the towels you used mine?" I asked secretly dying inside. He took it of then went to give it back to me "keep it!" I yelled looking away than he shrugged his shoulders and put the towel back on.

I sighed "are any of you hungry?" I asked "yeah" they all said but the red head "I can't eat" he told me "why?" I asked "because he's a puppet" they told me then I grabbed a cookie and shoved it into his mouth "chew" I told him. So he did "that is the best thing ever!" he yelled "rule three: food is good!" I said than they all attacked my cookie container "NO!" I screamed as they had finished all my cookies. I glared at all of them and they all backed away waiting for me to yell "you ate my cookies" I cried then they all made a sigh in relief.

Carly's POV.

We finally got back hoping Ren had forgotten about them waking her up "what if she is still a sleep?" Sandy asked "well than Jay can wake her up!" Kasey said and we all agreed except Jay who protested all the way. We walked in the house and the first thing I saw was Orochimaru on my couch "I'm going to kick your ass!" I yelled and jumped on his back. I dragged him off my couch "a rule for later on, don't still my couch" I said as I threw him out the door. i walked in to see an old lady on the floor "why is there an old lady on the floor?" I asked "this dude killed her" she said pointing to hidan "Hidan, are you out of your mind?" Jay screamed "well actually, now that you mention it" he said.

Sandy started poking her with her foot "poke" she said repeatedly when she poked the dead lady. Suddenly the dead lady jumped up and sandy screamed running into the wall. I looked up and noticed strings "guys, I'm not sure if you know this but I think their trying to kill Sandy" I said "why would they try to kill my sexy beast!" Ren said running to Sandy "does she like girls?" Kisame asked pointing to Ren who was hugging Sandy, who was still out of it. Kasey jumped up "oh I do!" she said then winked at konan who backed away very slowly.

I walked into the lounge room and sat on my couch and turned on T.v. suddenly Tobi ran into the the lounge room "they have TV!" he yelled then ran right in front of the TV than sat there. I sighed "Tobi you're going to get square eyes" I said then he turned to me "I mean you're going to have a square eye" I told him "but Tobi doesn't want square eyes" he said scared "then don't sit so close to the TV" I told him and suddenly he rushed past me and into the room across from the TV in the lounge room. I popped my head over the couch to see Tobi sitting down watching TV from inside the other room I jumped up than back Orochimaru from my couch than walked up to Tobi and grabbed his hand then pulled him over to the couch middle of the room. I walked back over to my couch and laid down than Tobi jumped on top of me than Jay walked past with Itachi and Kisame "were going to get some stuff from my house" Jay said then she looked at me. She went to say something "it's not what it looks like" I said "Tobi's best friend" he told them as he squeezed the life out of me then they all just shook their heads and walked off.

Kasey POV

I grabbed hidan "the idiot's coming with me to get some stuff from my place and the girl can come to" I said "which one?" Ren asked looking at me confused "Ren, there is only one girl!" Jay said "but I thought" I said pointing to Deidara then her eyes widened "I'm not a girl!" Deidara yelled. Ren put her hand down "so, she's a boy" I asked "yes, she's a boy! I mean his a boy! SHUT UP!" Deidara complained then Ren turned to Jay "you sure?" she whispered then Jay nodded. Konan looked at me "I'm staying here with Pain" she told us "fine I'll take Kakuzu" I said then looked around "wait, where's Kakuzu?" I asked looking around "oh, no my money sense is tingling he's trying to steal my money!" she yelled then ran to her room. I looked around "does anyone want to go with me?" I asked than they all looked around "fine fuckers, come on Albino" I said dragging him off to get something from home.

We got to my house "so hidan, nice necklace" I said "thank you heathen, It's my religion symbol!" he told me "serious?" I asked than he nodded. I sighed "religion is pointless" I told him "Jashin is not pointless" he said "is that your stupid little god's name?" I asked "he is not stupid!" Hidan said whacking me in the head with a book "how did you get a book?" I asked "I found it at that other house with that scary red head chick, who I am pretty sure is going to be the one to succeed in killing me and it's weird because I'm immortal" he said. He handed me the book and I opened it to see a safe "it's Louis secret stash" I said so I began to open it as Hidan ranted on Jashin. I threw the safe "and that's why Jashin is the best in the world" he said then I sighed getting up and throwing him some old casual clothes I used to wear "put these on, you won't look much like an idiot then" I told him then walked out of the room as he got change and still ranted on about Jashin in the process.

As he walked out I smacked him in the head "do you ever stop talking!" I yelled "I yell sometimes" he told me then I shook my head and packed up all the stuff I needed. He went to say something then I pushed him into the closet "I'll be back when you shut up!" I said "don't leave me!" Hidan yelled "why, you're driving me away with your nonstop talking" I told him. I went to walk off "come on, I'm scared of the dark" he told me "I care why?" I asked "because Jashin, will be angry with you!" he yelled "he'll get over it" I told him then he stopped talking and I smiled then he started having a swearing fit and yelled every swear word I had ever heard including ones I had never heard of before. I smirked as his voice started disappearing "Rule six: don't talk so much" I said then I let him out and his voice was completely gone and I smiled because I finally had peace and quiet "fooled you!" Hidan yelled pointing at me "want to back into the closet?" I asked "I'll be good" he told me as walked out the door.

**What will happen next chapter? Will Sandy ever wake up? Will Hidan Ever learn to shut up? Will Louis ever get her money Stash back? Will Kisame ever stop singing in people's showers? Find out next chapter!**


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